Out of the 60,000+ podcasts out there somehow yours caught my eye. It looked interesting enough for me to add it to my podcatcher and download a few shows. Unfortunately, I’ve removed it from my subscription list, for one or more of the following reasons.

Your show is too long. I don’t have as much time as I’d like for podcasts, and I’m just not willing to listen to you for the hour and a half I could spend listening to six fifteen minute podcasts. I think there is a much shorter, much better show in there struggling to get out. As an experiment, try doing one episode that’s 1/3 the length to see if it makes it better.

You talk in a monotone. If you’re not excited about the subject, why should I be?

You laugh at your own jokes. A lot. As a solo show, an occasional laugh is fine, but you bellow at your own cleverness every single time you say anything you think is even slightly amusing. I hate laugh tracks.

Your production sucks. The days of great content allowing you to get away with lousy production are over. There’s more well-produced good content out there than anyone has time to listen too. Your whistling Ss sound like fingernails on a blackboard, your popping Ps are pathetic, and your three dollar microphone just doesn’t cut it any more. If your show were brand new I’d be a little more forgiving, but you’ve been doing this for a while now and if you don’t care enough about it to learn the technical end of your craft I don’t care enough to listen.

Your volume is all over the place. The first time I dived for the volume knob I was annoyed. The third time I skipped the rest of your show and deleted it from my podcatcher.

You use too many word whiskers. A few ums and aws are fine, but your show is so full of them I couldn’t pay attention to anything else. Your excessive use of “like” and “you know” makes you sound like a Valley Girl. (Last year I tried a podcast on Film Noir which was hosted by two people. One of them said “And, Uh,” in front of every sentence. I loved the subject enough to give it one more try a few shows later to see if they had improved. They hadn’t. The End, roll credits.)

You didn’t get to the point. You told me your show was about X, but you rambled on and on about all kinds of supporting crap until I got bored and moved on. (Point of Inquiry is a good example. They spend a good five minutes telling you about their organization, what the show is about, blah blah blah, and then they often play a promo! And it’s the same shtick every damn time. When they finally get to the content it’s a great show, but why does it take them so long to get to the point (of inquiry)?)

You didn’t get to the point II. You told me your show was about X, but you rambled on and on about your cat or your kid or your operation and I just lost interest before you got anywhere near the subject matter.

You put your own show down. Actually, I never subscribed because of this. Your show description said “Just a couple of guys hanging out. We’re not that good, but its fun.” If you tell me your show sucks I’m just going to agree with you without trying it.

You put your closing comments first. Sharing phone calls and e-mails is the best way to encourage more phone calls and e-mails. It’s an interesting part of the show for some people, but others find it dull. If you put it at the end of the show, where it belongs, people who aren’t interested can skip it easily after enjoying the meat of your message. But you put it at the beginning, so I just skipped to the next show on my list.

Looking for a podcast that avoids these errors? Try The Quick Hitts Podcast, the perfect complement to this blog.