Congratulations. Out of a trillion web pages, I’m visiting one of yours. You’ve got an opportunity to show me something, sell me something, enlighten, amuse or entertain me.

It’s a shame I left within seconds because you did something stupid.

Most of these tricks have been around long enough that they’ve been discussed to death, and any reasonably competent web designer should know better than to use them. Yet I see them in action every day.

Automatic Audio – Automatically playing music or a sales pitch has been so despised for so long I’m amazed so many web designers still do it. Some sites think it’s OK if it’s accompanied by an animated talking head. It isn’t. Others make it even more annoying by waiting thirty seconds or so before assaulting your speakers. I usually cruse with my own music playing and typically open several tabs while reading an article, so your attack on my sound system forces me to go on a tab hunt for your awful page. When I find it I’ll slam it shut, but not until glancing at it just long enough to remember to never, ever buy your product or service.

Video Starting With Commercials – You may think I want to watch your video so badly I’ll sit through a fifteen second commercial first. You would be wrong.  A five second “Brought to you by…” banner is fine.  Anything longer than that and you’ve lost me. And you’ve made it even more annoying by disabling the skip or pause button. No problem – there’s a nice “X” on the browser tab that solves that problem instantly.

Slide Shows – Most of us are suckers for headlines like “Sixteen Ways to Save Money” or “Ten Gadgets You Didn’t Know You Needed,” or “Five Ways to Make Visitors Bolt From Your Site” But lately more and more lists use slide shows with one item per slide. I’ve even seen this done with “100 Best Movies” or “50 Essential Albums.” I’m not sure who clicks and clicks and clicks and clicks to slog though these messes, but I don’t. I don’t even bother for three or four.  If you’ve got a long list just break it up over two or three pages.

Flashing Ads – lightly animated ads can be eye catching. Flashing/strobing/quaking ads are annoying enough to make me leave immediately. I use Adblocker and flash blocking plug-ins, but some ads get past them (which is also annoying). I know you don’t have complete control over what ads appear on your site, but if a flashing ad hits, block it, or you’re going to lose a lot of your visitors.

Popups – This is another trick that should have been abandoned years ago. People hate ’em. They’re stupid an annoying and a powerful incentive to leave. The worst offenders are pop-ups that make you search for the “close” link. No problem; I’ve got one of those on my tab. See ya.

“But,” you say, “I’m offering a free newsletter!” Pfft. Who isn’t? And why would I want a newsletter from a site I haven’t looked at yet? It’s like walking into a coffee house and immediately being accosted by the owner saying, “Would you like to be my friend? Please please please? It doesn’t cost anything!”

I have no idea if I want your newsletter, or want to sign your petition, or vote for you for some contest. Odds are I’m not the least bit interested in what you think is so urgent.  Let me look around first. Make the offer somewhere on the page and leave it up to me, instead of shoving it in my face.

And that prohibition on face shoving includes when I leave your site. I’m done, ready to move on, I might come back later and BAM – here’s a popup when I try to leave. Ok, I guess I won’t be coming back later.

Good site design is not just what you do; it’s also what you don’t do. If you find something, anything, that annoys you on the web, you should know most of your visitors will have the same reaction.

It’s not easy to get people to your site. Once you’ve their time and attention don’t squander it by annoying them, or they’re likely to leave and never come back.