The end of the world has been delayed for two weeks while repairs are made on the LHC. 

Paranoia over it creating a black hole that will destroy the universe are ridiculous.  The most it would do is destroy the solar system.  Hey, it’s been fun. 

India’s media has been broadcasting all kinds of paranoid predictions.  Thousands of people there are praying for god to save them, because that always works so well. 

One teenage girl was so upset that she killed herself, causing a slight but measurable increase in the country’s average IQ.

You shouldn’t waste any time at all worrying about this, but if you’d like some reassurance, you can watch the LHC live web cam here, and monitor the situation.