Quick, which state has the most mouth-breating, slack jawed, drooling morons on their school boards?

If you guessed Kansas, Alabama or Mississippi, you might be right. But Florida is doing everything they can to prove they can be just as encephalitic as any of the goober states. Several counties are considering teaching creationism in public schools. (Under the sobriquet of Intelligent Design, of course. Fundies figured renaming their idiot superstition would fool stupid people. It’s working.) But they’ve just topped themselves in the mouth breathing category: they’ve just fired a substitute teacher for . . . wizardry.

Seriously. Substitute teacher Jim Piculas did a quickie magic trick, making a toothpick vanish and reappear. It’s obviously slight of hand (and a very simple trick, you can find instructions on YouTube), but it was enough to scare the supervisor of substitute teachers, who called it a “huge issue.”

After the fact the supervisor claimed there were other reasons, like not following lesson plans and letting the kids play on an unauthorized computer, but Jim said that’s the first time he heard those complaints. Evidently they tacked them on later to keep themselves from looking stupid.

Too late.

BTW, here’s a very old article I wrote back in ’99 when Kansas demanded fundyism creationism ID be taught in public schools.